what keeps me sane (2009)

by slowriter

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What Keeps Me Sane
This is an album i recorded between the chariot tours on about a 2 month break, Aug-Sept 2009. I ran out of pressed copies so it is now online for free. It is about demon police, normal police, the jobrocket lakehouse(rip), this US of A country, the planet, humans, stomach aches, California, and sunshine.

Click each song for lyrics and details.

Thanks for listening!


released October 23, 2009



all rights reserved


slowriter Fort Collins, Colorado

Made 4 kids only

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Track Name: news stand
1 news stand

you've never seen one of 'em tear you apart
how can you take pride in this game like it's art?
you should see the size of the middle of the heart
it pumps real slow and swagged, but man, it's shootin' up the charts

it's shootin up in cars
it's switchin tracks of trains
it's fillin up the cart
it stays inside the lanes

take it easy, man.
i've never seen you, man.
and if it were my choice,
i'd never meet you, man.
rolled down my window, and
told you i'm in a band
you just don't understand
i'm not in college, man
came from a different land
i'm not a big pig fan
it's fillin up the cart
it's sellin out my stand
i think i'm makin more of myself than you ever have
i think i'm makin more of myself than you ever can

sometimes, i wonder... how many people i've killed
long ago, i lost count... hundreds? thousands? i don't know... there was a time when a day didn't go by where i didn't murder someone. these were all good murders of course! i woudln't murder anyone who didn't deserve it, or just had to be killed... due to circumstances.
Track Name: spent
i saw a candle that burns fast AND slow
and if it shines, well then we'll know
who's got the hands to make this fast/slow glow
who does the work to make this newborn grow

i don't know where you be headed, my good friend
i just know, well i just know that HE'S spent
and i don't know if it's a good idea to let you go when you obviously should be dead
are you really gonna let a cop scare you to death?
Track Name: i could fly
hello, my friends: this is the end of all you know
(and all you don't)
comes from the basement of my parent's house
live in a sad, sad world? then get out of town!
it's not my intention to fight you...
maybe one day an archaeologist will find you

(a monster created by a man they called mad)
(has turned loose to strike terror into the hearts of men)

one day i might be able to fly

(it stuns your emotions)
Track Name: gold mine
i am a trap, and i'm alive
it's just my job, i should retire
i am the roots, you didn't see
you couldn't nearly prepare to avoid my trees
and when summer turned fall and i lost my leaves
we found you sprawled in shock somewhere underneath
that's why i am in awe of whatever exists
but couldn't nearly prepare to avoid that which doesn't
so i time-travled out in terror cuz a ghost saw me flying
an invisible kite made of edible steel
meals that make you hungry for a color or a feeling
catch a fish without reeling
the floor is on the ceiling

(why don't you listen to me)

i've been told, that i was wanted for my gold
so i buried it in various places of the country
for all your kids to inherit, but instead you thought
you pioneered the mining business
and as of yester-year, i think it's been a year
ain't leaving too soon, no, we just got here
Track Name: american propaganda film
(find a whole new way of life)
isn't it stunning? isn't it stunning?
isn't it stunning? isn't it stunning?


i need the time, to erase, what was lost, in the case
get it back, what they stole, what was once, once misplaced
and yeah i would try, try to tell a lie, but i would lying, got no face
so i'm just gonna stand, in the same spot
8 9 10 j q k a

isn't it strange that we trust our eyes, when you can't see this song?
i wonder what else they're gonna hide...

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Track Name: what keeps me sane (ft joel howard)
yes, it is me, and i have arrived yet again

devil, devil, devil, devil, devil devil

where did you run?
it wasn't me that was chasing you
where did you go?
it was the devil
where did you run?
you thought the blue and white were saving you
where did you go?
it was the devil

Joel Howard:
I used 'em all to evolve.
They called upon a star for a heart that's off the charts
so we ball til' we fall
i'm on another level, stronger than the devil
as long as i got god, i promise i'ma pedal
towards the honor, and medals, or medals, of honor
i won't fail you, father, but i can't take this much longer
now i'm a part of acts to trash the fate
which plants my ass in a plastic case
born in a mansion, raised in a grave
so slayin me won't change a thing
hey, you ain't heard of me? we got an emergency
crooked cops could shoot and chop your life in half, BURGLARY
learnin from the hardest cuz these officers are heartless
from the darkness, they pop clips. murder me an artist
what's the smell? it's not fish. you dark blue? you're not pig
ya'll coochies novice, my music's got this
matta fact my music's got disses for all ya'll fake-ass, badge-wearin...
last chance before the canines come
but you can't catch me if you can't run

what keeps me sane is the flashing lights and sirens singing in my mind.
i am sure that i will find them.
sitting on the floor, moving patterns like a diamond.
i wanna be for sure, so i will sure remind them.
fast enough to get their hands on any wrist and cuff it to the side.
"i'm on the way to work. this kid is just my ride!"
I live where i live, so i live where i died.
i live in a house, but more, i live where i hide.
Track Name: i'd probably run
if you're not lookin, then i'd probably guess that you can't see the end
if you're not listening, then i'll probably have to tell you again
if you got plans to sink a ship, don't spread the word through odds and ends
if you got plans to sink a ship, you'd best avoid all that ship's men

and when the doors open to cabins on the deck, i'd probably run
when all the lifeboats set sail i'd start regretting what i'd done
cuz i'm long-winded, future's gone, my pupils burn from staring at the sun
i wish i'd bought some shades back at the shore before i'd begun

i gotta admit, you're doing fine
i gotta admit, i'm doing time

fire's on my roof but it makes it easier to sleep like rain
i'm tired of the water that's been constantly pounding on my brain
i know soon it will fade like a passing train, but it just keeps getting louder like a car approaching in the left lane
i sing songs to cover up noise, and it always sounds the same
like a cell phone ringing at a college football game

if you're not looking then i'd probably guess that you can't see the end
if you're not listnening, then i'll probably have to tell you again
i found the hands, invisible, that spread through odds and odds and ends
and i've got no plans, provisions though, and i've headed out
to make amends, to make amends, to make amends
Track Name: interrupter
i'll name the price, but swear it's not for sale.
it's for your eyes.
and still, we won't let you see it for more than $5 or $6

i'm the fence that links all these ideas together
take out your sense, they're common and we want them, never.
i've seen it all, and it's a joke
a picket fence with gaping holes
rooted in faith, but ruled by gold
weakening bones from getting old
and i would swear on where i'm told, but i was raised always half-mast, and now:
that's what makes me FREE AT LAST.

split it up for sharing it.
we're gonna lift it up and carry it.
they raise their arms cuz they're baring them
they shoot the dogs and then bury them
maybe they'll grow up tall like trees
maybe exactly what i need is to get as far away from what i see as it is possible to be.
Track Name: cali
good times, right?
ye ye ye yeye
just look at that plate! but there's still something wrong, isn't there bill. what now? we'll soon know cuz here comes mother. that's the good kind of food if you're hungry after school. just feeling fine. if you have a stomach ache, it isn't any fun.

what's your name again, I'm not sure that we've spoke.
Fornia Fornia Fornia
Track Name: ijustwannaseethatsunshineisanybodywithme
I've seen it all, and it's a joke
a picket fence, with gaping holes
rooted by faith, but ruled by gold
weakening bones, from getting old
and i would swear, on this here flag
but it is raised always half mast
and if you disrespect that pass
well that's what makes us free at last

on december 31, 2008
i came to terms with what will probably be my fate
we could get old and never see a different state
so when i get old, i'll probably live beside ("L.A." or "a lake")
we all dream the same thing, and it gives me chills to my bones
so i write dumb metaphors with hidden undertones
about how bad right now i'd kill to be back home
but don't get me wrong, i couldn't be happier on the road